This episode offers advice on how to keep a conversation going with anybody, and some tips on conversing with girls in particular.
- To keep a conversation going forever, use word extraction, which is where you pick a keyword someone just said and repeat it. When replying, you either ask a question or make a statement.
- Example: You ask a girl where she got her bracelet and she replies “I got it from this really cool store called Free People.” The keywords here are “store” and “Free People,” so you can reply with something like “I’ve never heard of that store before, where is it?” or “Oh I love Free People, the quality of their items are the best.”
- Practice exercise: Write down random nouns like cloud, table, eco-friendly cars, cellphone, McDonald’s, etc on flashcards. Go through them by pretending each one is a keyword someone just said, and come up with one question and one statement about it.
- Example: Eco-friendly cars.
- Question: What’s your favorite kind of eco-friendly car?
- Statement: You know I’ve always wanted to get an eco-friendly car, something like a Tesla, those would be so cool to get.
- This exercise will help you with being quick on your feet to come up with interesting replies given any keyword.
- Example: Eco-friendly cars.
- Conversation skills aren’t something people are born with. It’s something everyone has to practice and work on. It’s okay if you’re not good at it because it’s expected if you haven’t had much practice. Just make sure to treat it as a skill you have to practice.
- Find every opportunity you can to talk to people. Try to not go too many days without having a conversation.
- If you don’t have much conversation material, you can build up your repertoire from anywhere really. Whether it’s from books, news, Facebook feed, YouTube videos, TED talks, life hacks, Reddit, you just need to spend the time immersing yourself in these mediums more.
- Another amazing source of conversation material is conversations you’ve had from other people. It’s a positive feedback loop where the more conversations you have, the more conversation material you gain, and the better your next conversations become.
Conversing with girls
- You can literally talk about anything to girls and they can find it interesting, as long as you show you’re having fun talking about it. The key is to talk about it with power and energy, so she can feel that emotion from you, which gets her excited. See the podcast example below:
- Try to talk about things no one is talking about so you can stand out. One of the key elements of attraction and getting girls to like you is to be the exception. You want her to think “Wow! This was a good conversation. I’ve never met a guy like this before!”
- Talk roughly 60% of the time and let the girl talk the remaining 40%.
- If she doesn’t get to talk much, it will turn her off because she won’t feel like she had much to say.
- If you don’t get to talk much, she’s going to find you boring and won’t remember anything about you.
- Say anything that comes to mind as long as it’s not inappropriate, and don’t worry about the consequences. If you run out of things to say, just come out and say it: “Well this is awkward, I just ran out of things to say. I don’t really know where to go from here and I should be embarrassed right now but you know what, I don’t really care. I thought I’d just tell you.”
- Work on the flashcard exercise to get good at using word extraction during a conversation.
- Make an effort to talk to more people to develop your conversation skills.
- Increase the amount and improve the quality of the conversation material you can work with.
- Speak with power and energy next time you’re telling someone about something that may not sound interesting.